My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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