I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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