i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
