I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
