how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
