I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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