I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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