life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She even gives head with a lisp.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
