So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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