went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
