you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
