Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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