if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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