hotel room ftw
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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