You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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