Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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