it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
