Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
