He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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