"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
