I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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