Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
