youre lurking in front of me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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