I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize