you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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