thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
