Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize