You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
