420 ftw
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize