cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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