More tranny stories later!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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