Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
