I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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