just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
