Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
