What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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