Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
