Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
