I'm really into asian looking animals
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
