Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
