I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
