you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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