its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
