Please, let me fuck your mom
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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