Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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