I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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