At least make sure they are 18
Why
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
