im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
whose parrot is this?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
