Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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