They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
