The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
