shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
