i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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