And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
