i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
