I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
