I have demons in me.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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