wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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