We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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